This September, I began walking along the river Danube, with the hope that I might just become the first person to walk its entirety from source to sea. For some reason, no one had tried to walk all 2,850km of the river before, so I thought that I may as well attempt it myself. 

When I later told my spicy little Spanish friend, Inés González Miguéns, about the trip, she ended up booking a last-minute flight out to Germany and joining me for a grand two weeks. That was until Vienna, where she slinked off to a back alley hostel in Slovakia to lead bar crawls and get foot tattoos.

To date, I’ve covered 550 miles out of a (suspected) total 1,770, with the last major city stop being in Vienna, Austria. The Danube flows through more countries than any other in the world, so I still have Slovakia, Hungary, Croatia, Serbia, Romania, Bulgaria, Moldova, and Ukraine to look forward to. If they’ll have us, that is.

So far, we’ve slept in nunneries, communes, Mc Mansions, farmer’s sheds, luxury apartments, forest floors, “man caves”, and old bank buildings. We’ve stayed with spiritual healers, MLM pushers, cult leaders, Michelin star chefs, homophobes (oops), tea masters, and one guy who tried to molest us in the night. Every evening, we stay with a new stranger, relying on their kindness for food and a place to rest our heads, and have met some truly incredible people along the way (apart from that last guy, who ended up calling us “unworthy” for rejecting his advances).

Each night is completely new and a little crazy, and I’m absolutely loving it.

One question that we’ve been asked a lot along the way is, what’s the motivation for doing something like this? Apart from the temptation of international fame or elevated success within the adventure industry (neither which, unsurprisingly, have happened… yet), there were a couple other reasons to set out on a journey like this.

Doing it for the girls and the gays

Firstly, one of the biggest motivations for undertaking this expedition was to break down stereotypes for female and LGBTQ+ travellers.

I’ve always been told that travelling as a woman is dangerous, and that we simply aren’t made for this sort of thing – and yet, here I am, doing something that was previously deemed impossible. I don’t know if you’ve noticed the straight white ‘heroic’ male archetype that seems to plague the travel isles at Waterstones and the interviews on Good Morning Britain, but frankly, it’s started to grate on me. The industry is completely over-saturated with people like this, and as such, those who don’t quite fit that criteria face incredible prejudices when undertaking similar expeditions.

And so, I hope that by doing a walk like this, I will be able to challenge the stereotypes and expectations for queer female travellers in the industry, breaking down whatever walls that have been put up to stop us from doing exactly what we’re meant to be doing.

So far, this journey has been empowering unlike anything else I have ever experienced. Amongst the fairytale beauty of the Black Forest, the quaintness of European villages, and the wilderness of the continent’s many great forests, I can’t help but think, holy fry, I’m really doing it. Being able to roam the earth freely in a way that my female ancestors could not makes me feel both honoured and empowered.

And frankly, that’s enough motivation for me.

Doing it for the crohnies

Or at least, it should be, in theory.

But then there’s also the fact that I have Crohn’s Disease.

On average, I aim to cover around 35km a day, burning no less than 3,000 calories in any 24-hour period. This would presumably be quite difficult for an able-bodied person, but for someone that suffers with Crohn’s disease and everything that comes with it, it often feels pretty much impossible.

I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in 2014, and since then, have constantly been battling against an autoimmune response that aims for nothing other than shutting down my whole body. I get blepharitis, psoriasis, and all of the blood, sh*t, and tears that come along with not having a single functioning intestine. It is, quite frankly, the most horrendous thing to ever happen to me, and I still battle with it daily.

Still, I knew that I wanted to do something big, and there was no way in hell that I was letting this illness get in the way. So I bulk ordered my medication, bought endless digestion tablets, and told my doctor that I was about to do something incredibly reckless and it would be great if he could remain contactable, and booked my flight.

Luckily, we haven’t been camping as much as I expected we would (in fact, after the first night we camped and woke up covered in parasites, we sent the tent home to never be used again), so I’ve had steady(ish) access to people’s homes, and the stability of a bed and toilet each night. Regardless, the seven hours minimum of walking each day leaves a lot of room for error, and it’s been especially challenging to keep it all under control.

Regardless, I am constantly impressed that my body even has the strength to do something like this. Who knew that my diseased, withering, pathetic human shell could walk 550 miles in a month and still be ready to function the next morning? Now, I truly realise just how strong I am and how much potential my body has, and want to shout to the world about it. This is a massive difference to when I was first diagnosed and wanted to keep it all under wraps, too ashamed to tell anyone about it, and I’m proud of just how far I’ve come.

With the finish line looking to be in eastern Romania in late December, I’m super excited to see how cultures, languages, and landscapes change along the way. And of course, I am honoured to do so as a female LGBTQ+ traveller with Crohn’s disease, with my head thoroughly stuck in the clouds.

Doing it to save the river

Doing it, quite simply, for the vibes

But of course, there are endless reasons at the heart of why I wanted to do a trip like this. When people ask, I sometimes just skip all of the above and go off on something else: I read a lot of Levison Wood, I have nothing better to do, I want to be known for doing things that no one else has done, I like rivers, I wanted to explore Europe, I thought that it would be a great way of sampling each town’s version of dumplings. Whatever the reason, though, no one seems to be satisfied… So quite simply, I am doing this whole darn thing for the vibes.

Of course, I will let you all know how we get on over the next few months. To stay up to date with the expedition, you can always follow my Instagram at Wandering_Everywhere or sign up to the newsletter (subscription box is at the bottom of the page).

UPDATE: We finally finished the walk on the 14th September 2022, more or less a year after we started. Stay tuned for the next adventure!

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A couple months ago before the Coronavirus pandemic blew up, I went on a small trip around Europe. During that time, I thoroughly indulged myself in chocolate and cheese in Switzerland (note: I’m intolerant to dairy), along with partaking in other activities which usually cause gut irritation (constantly travelling, having no sleep, etc). When I finally landed in Cologne, my stomach was in turmoil – and I ended up spending the whole trip trying to get back to my former self.

In Crohn’s Disease, a flare-up is a sudden reactivation of symptoms where inflammation becomes more present in the body – and by my own carelessness and gluttonous nature, I had provoked it into returning. I had several weeks to really focus on bringing that inflammation down, and after just a few days, my stomach had returned to normal (or at least, as normal as it can be for someone with Crohn’s).

This is how I did it.

TOOK IT EASY

My travel partner and I became the queens of slow travel once we’d finally landed in Cologne. Aware of the fact that we hadn’t relaxed properly in about a week, we took our time visiting museums and bookstores, and interspersed each visit with long stunts of cafes and rest. We took everything real slow and were careful not to overdo it – after such a hard couple of weeks on my stomach, it was beneficial to just take some time out to really listen to my body.

SWITCHED DIETS

After the dairy overload in Switzerland, I decided to switch to a diet that would be kind to my digestive system. I cut out food groups that are known to cause inflammation, and introduced more gut-friendly foods. My diet was low-fibre, but I still made sure that I was getting at least the recommended amount of vitamins. In times of flare ups, it’s hard to make sure that you’re not bordering on malnutrition, so it’s even more important than usual to keep re-introducing the good stuff to your body.

MADE MYSELF COMFORTABLE

Instead of bunking down in a stressful little hostel, we stayed in a private room in the gorgeous Koncept Hotel. This directly contributed to making sure that I got enough sleep each night, so that I would give my body a chance to heal during REM. Staying somewhere comfortable and avoiding stress is a key thing to keeping inflammation down, slowly helping to draw myself out of the flare up. Another key thing is to not stay sedentary – so little strolls and spending time dedicated to moving about is just as important as slowing down and taking it easy.

TOOK EXTRA MEDICATION

Luckily, I always pack more medication than I should need for this very reason. Not only does it cover my bases in case I lose a bag at the airport, but it also means that I can double-dose my medication when I feel like I need it most. Depending on the type of medication you take, this may not always be possible – but it’s worth checking with your doctor beforehand to see if you can double the dosage or incorporate another drug into your diet, should you desperately need it.

WATCHED WHAT I DRANK

Throughout the whole trip, I made sure to avoid alcohol (especially the much-loved German bier!), as the carbonation and acid would irritate my digestive system and contribute even further to the level of inflammation of the stomach lining. I also avoided fizzy drinks (due to the sugar and carbonation) and anything heavily caffeinated, instead sticking solely to water and green tea.

STAYED HYDRATED

Making sure to stay hydrated with bottled water and calming teas such as jasmine and camomile, I was able to both make up for the liquids I was losing, along with helping move on the toxins forming in my body and keep my digestive tract clear and ready to heal. It’s one of the most basic things to do when you’re a sufferer of IBD, and yet its importance is often overlooked.

BOOKED A DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT

Whilst it didn’t seem necessary to book an appointment in Germany for the short time that I was there, I still made sure that I would have an appointment waiting for me back home. Doing this meant that I was prepared with what to do next, making sure that I could bring myself back up to top health as quickly as possible

Crohn’s Disease is an auto-immune disease affecting every part of the body – from the stomach, to the joints, to the skin, to the eyes. Unfortunately, I seem to have every little side-effect relating to Crohn’s, which can make it quite an overwhelming illness at times. However, when my dream is to become an explorer, I really can’t let a little thing such as having an incurable disease stop me. Some things are simply more important.

If this has educated y’all a little more about what it’s like to travel with Crohn’s or has helped you in any way, let me know in the comments below!

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Chris Bonington:

 

“Sounds a fantastic wonderful project and I am very happy to put out my support. The very best of good fortune and have a wonderful time.”

Starting from the 1st May, we will trek over mountains, clamber through caves, and wild swim in freezing waters, staying in any accommodation we can find. We plan on covering an average of 90 miles a week, resting at lighthouses, underground bunkers, caving huts, monk-run communes (yes they have them in Wales!), pig barns, gypsy caravans, stranger’s houses, and good ol’ fashioned cabins in the woods. We will record our journey across Wales with the production of a documentary – with Inés as our camera woman with chronic back pain (inconvenient when you hold a camera for 5+ hours a day), Trianna being our travel-sick crew member, and myself being the host. Along with Cragen, of course.

We have already planned the first three months of the journey, and let me tell you, I absolutely did not think that there would be this much work involved. When Levison Wood went on his expedition to walk the Nile, I assumed that he spent about a week looking at maps and then set off in the general direction of the river. Oh, how I was wrong. This expedition has taken us nearly three years of talking about it, finalising details, and planning every single day – and we still have a lot more to go. It’s exhausting, but it will be worth it.

Reza Pakravan:

 

“This is an epic adventure around one of the most incredible parts of the world. The girls are super brave and ambitious and I am giving them my full support.”

I will be interviewing locals, getting hands-on with activities such as beekeeping, bushcraft, and metalwork, and experiencing the best and worst things that Wales has to offer. I will enter the bog snorkelling championship, attend my first ever L Fest, and try my hand at taxidermy. It’s going to be one heck of a journey, but it’s absolutely going to be worth it. 

We will walk north to meet self-proclaimed wizards, druids, former satanist priests, blacksmiths, mushroom farmers, rugby players, and millionaires – just to name a few. The more research we have conducted, the more we have become convinced that Wales is absolutely one of the wackiest places around. It’s very exciting. We might try fishing such as the adventures offered by Fishing Trips PNG and will truly throw ourselves in the deep end with different challenges and activities.

Some of you may now be asking, why us? After all, we are untrained, a little naive, and can’t even navigate with Google Maps. Heck, we’ve never spent more than a week camping combined. But regardless of all of this, we are passionate, impulsive, and ready to get more than a little messy. Inés comes from the Celtic nation of Galicia, Trianna is a weeb for Welsh culture, and I myself am Welsh through-and-through (Swansea Abertawe boiiiis) – and we all want to dig deep into the heart of the country.

Our all-woman team is going to face unsurmountable highs and lows, and spending every hour of every day with one another is going to be the ultimate test of our friendship. Plus, we are going to see a lot of each other – and as someone with Crohn’s Disease who knows that she’s going to have to sh*t in the woods, it’s not going to be pretty. But what better way to spend the summer than sleeping on mountains infamous for making you awaken either a madman or a poet? Kicking back on islands where all of the inhabitants are convicts? Meeting the people loitering around abandoned insane asylums? It’s an expedition where really, nothing could go wrong.

Crohn’s Disease is something that I have talked about before on the blog, but have never really delved into the details of. It is an immobilising, merciless disease that no one actually wants to talk about. It seems that the general public still knows nothing about Crohn’s (and even a lot of gastroenterologists are clueless about how to treat it), and so I’m hoping that by undertaking this journey, I can bring light to a subject that is commonly avoided.

Ed Stafford:

 

“[These girls] are embarking on a fantastic adventure to capture Wales in all its gritty glory. I wish them well and give my full support to the project.”

 

I know that over the course of the journey, I will face the same stomach pain, weak joints, scarred skin, and malnutrition that I face on a daily basis at home – but man, I want to be an explorer, so it’s just something that I’m going to have to suck up. By the end of it all, you guys are going to be fluent in Crohn’s-related vocab, and the stereotypes relating to auto-immune diseases will be thoroughly challenged. It’s going to be a wild ride.

I will try to update you all on our expedition as it progresses – but the fact that we will spend days even without food means that I can’t guarantee a stable internet connection. I’m hoping that we will be able to find some sort of local accommodation most nights on the road when we haven’t planned anything, but understand that a goat will stop us from a lot of people letting us stay in their houses. But hear me out: to undertake this walk with a weird-looking dog in tow would be funny, and thus, worth it.

We have already received support from numerous explorers and celebrities, such as Ash Bhardwaj, Ed Stafford, Darius Arya, Chris Bonington, Benedict Allen, Reza Pakravan, Hayley Long, and Bill Bryson – all people I have spent my life looking up to. It’s as exciting as it is scary – but knowing that we have so much support from not only the people mentioned above, but radio stations, magazines, and local businesses, makes us feel as though this is a journey that really means something to people. And if they have faith in us after knowing how hopeless a team we are, well, I guess we have to do it.

To follow our journey, why not stalk our Twitter and Instagram?

If you would like to donate, please visit our gofundme.

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Situated in the stunning little town of Beddgelert, a place swathed in history and folklore, it posed as the perfect opportunity to get re-acquainted with my favourite country. After a long, winding drive from the South, sweeping up country roads and down mountain inclines, I finally arrived at the cottages. The host, instructor, and yogi – Rebecca – greeted me, leading me to the dining room to meet the others. The next hour consisted of us all getting to know each other, sitting in armchairs by the fire with mugs of our favourite drinks to warm us back up. Pretty quickly, I found myself surrounded by some of the coolest people I’ve ever met. “And so,” said Rebecca, as everyone finished settling in. “Let the weekend begin!”

THE FOOD

Honestly, the food was undoubtedly one of the best bits about the whole retreat. Being a massive foodie myself, knowing that I would be staying somewhere that offered an array of filling, hearty, homemade vegan meals, I was slightly ecstatic to tuck in.

Everything was inherently healthy – detoxifying us and rendering us ready for the day (or night) ahead. Plates filled with cuisine from all over the world, made from scratch right there in the kitchen. Chocolate cakes and apple crumbles were baked fresh for dessert – always with the option of seconds. Lunch consisted of a surprisingly gourmet “packed lunch,” with ingredients I had prior never thought would be delicious together. Not to be dramatic, but even the food itself was an experience.

Meal times at Morris Mountains are set out to be social – the whole group sits at their place at the dining table (unless it’s lunch, where you all gather around a waterfall), spending the following few hours just talking, sharing stories and anecdotes and secrets. For my time at the retreat, the ladies acted as a sort of psuedo-family – they were all excitedly supportive when I told them about this here blog, but all discouraging and fierce when I suggested the mere idea of war journalism.

We had more of an opportunity to learn more about one another whilst sat around this table than we could as we trudged up the mountains (possibly because we’d spend the latter trying to catch our breaths without looking like we were doing so). Everyone sat around me turned out to all be deeply interesting people – from the woman with the deadpan humour and endless stories of India, to the Bolton living embodiment of a pocket rocket who always had a funny quip at the ready, to the two friends that spent the whole retreat absolutely roasting each other, to the woman with the nose ring whose eyes glinted with mischievous intent. As we sat there for hours, eating good food and sipping lemon water and tea, we chatted like we’d known each other for years.

THE YOGA

The once- and twice-daily yoga sessions occurred in the local town hall, in the sort of place you could easily mistake for a Scout hut. With obscure – yet oddly relaxing – music playing in the background, we would start each day and end each evening with an hour of yoga. I’m one of the least flexible people in existence, so the prospect of having to shift my body into strange positions for an extended period of time was slightly daunting – however, Rebecca seemed to know what we all needed and when, modifying the routine as necessary.

Over the course of the weekend the poses became easier (although they weren’t particularly difficult in the first place – merely positions that were entirely foreign to my body), and after each session you definitely felt as if you’d achieved something. With a heavy focus on breathing and just simple mindfulness, the classes also aided as a subtle form of meditation. At the end of each class, I would feel  the tension slowly work its way out from the scoliosis in my back, and the effects would last for hours.

THE HIKING

As a group, you get to decide the level of strenuosity you want to undergo on the trips out. The days would start with a 9.30am hike (after yoga and breakfast), clambering up rock faces and trekking across hills. The views were unprecedentedly beautiful, with the mountainous backdrops and dramatic scenery aplenty. There were abandoned stone houses and old bridges made of large slabs of flint, with sheep dotting the land. It was exhausting and it was wet, but it was absolutely stunning.

These trips out into the wild side of North Wales were made up of the contrast between gasping for breath, and telling my hopes and dreams to anyone that was interested (which honestly was everyone – not a single person spent more than two minutes on their own in contented silence).  We’d break the hikes up with trips to cafes for cakes, or just to stop and admire everything around us. When we’d reach the top of a particularly challenging precipice, we’d all just slow down and stare out, feeling blessed and happy and – despite the winds – warm.

THE ACCOMMODATION

Imagine finding yourself tucked away in the heart of Wales, in a cosy little cottage that has been passed down from generation to generation – with each new owner adding a quaint detail here, a small feature there. You’re surrounded by tearooms and ice-cream parlours, and the vast, unchanged beauty of Wales. The antiquated atmosphere tempts you into relaxing back in a plush leather armchair with a glass of wine, fat wax candles flickering away on the dining table. Your new psuedo-family surrounds you, as Rebecca’s mother, Hillary, cooks up food in the open-plan kitchen. Dinner is served at the large oak table – which, of course, overlooks nearly eight acres of tamed woodland.

With fluffy rugs and wooden everything contrasting the flat screen television, you’ll feel as if you’re in both a medieval lounge and a contemporary home at the same time. Honestly, with us all in our assigned rooms in the evening, bumping into each other when we snuck out for tea or a late night read on the sofa, it felt like I was in some kind of sorority house.

The bathrooms come as either en-suite or shared, with the largest offering a ginormous bathtub styled from a 60’s interior decoration magazine, with plush stairs leading up to the basin. It was quirky, it was kitsch, and the floorboards creaked. I loved it.

THE TREATMENTS

Hillary is a woman with many talents, trained in the likes of reflexology and Indian head massage, amongst others. She offered treatments during the stay, and I was more than just merely excited to try one. I’d heard about the benefits of reflexology in regards to people like me (i.e. people with Crohn’s), and here was someone who could both knead out the weariness of seven-hour-long hikes and offer a temporary fix to my ailments.

The whole thing was super relaxing and I felt incredible afterwards – and not just because of the free life advice I was handed at the same time. Having an absolute stranger believe in you wholeheartedly and offer suggestions for your ideas is one of the most pure, and inspiring, things that a person could witness. Definitely an unexpected feature, but wildly appreciated nonetheless.

Considering the fact that the whole business has only been up and running for two years, it’s quite remarkable what Rebecca has been able to achieve with it all. She’s expertly trained in all things mountain and yoga, and literally built the whole business from scratch through sheer willpower alone. Despite innumerable setbacks with it all, she’s managed to plan and create this whole retreat. Amazing.

This weekend was awesome, and I’m so glad I was given the opportunity to experience it. I would 100% go back, and met the loveliest people whilst clambering across the North Wales countryside. I am deeply thankful to the team at Morris Mountains for offering me a chance to witness all that they get up to, and am excited at the prospect of eventually visiting again in time.

Have you guys ever been on a retreat such as this, or want to try Morris Mountains out for yourselves? Let me know in the comments below!

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